City Council Dialogue: A Fictional Short Play

It is a warm summer night in the Politically Virtuous City.  The scene opens in the council chambers at City Hall, where the City Council is in session.  A politically contentious item is being considered-- an expression of "regret" for an incident that had occurred 30 years ago.  Two council members discuss the issue, and in the process peer into each other's souls:

Councilman Harbour:  My concern with this measure is that we are opening up the city to repeated rounds of litigation and liability.  I am just not sure that it's appropriate for us to be voting on this measure in its present form.

(Councilwoman Yells begins to make chirping noises, and scowls openly before the TV camera.  She tries to disrupt Harbour.) 

Councilman Lobby:  Now, I don't think we should be missing an opportunity here.  Sometimes, we have to take responsibility, and seize the opportunity for some reconciliation.  We have some fine city staff, and I know our city attorney can draft language that can overcome any concerns over liability. 

Councilman Harbour: It's not just a matter of liability, Councilman.  This is simply not a good idea.    I don't think the city should be apologizing when it was the involved parties who were really at fault. This seems to me to be a bogus exercise-- particularly when the city, in practical terms, would assume all the liability, and the parties truly responsible would not.

Councilman Lobby: (With emphasis) Remember! We're not apologizing.  We are regretting.

Councilman Harbour:  And what precisely are we regretting, Councilman?

Councilman Lobby:  Oh, I suppose we are not regretting anything in particular.  We're just regretting.  Don't you understand?

Councilman Harbour: If we are not regretting anything specific, Councilman, then what is the whole point?  Why are we wasting our time?  Why bother with this?

Councilman Lobby:  It is symbolism, Councilman.  We have a large minority population in our city that feels aggrieved over this incident, and that has felt oppressed over the years.  We need to make a symbolic gesture to make them feel like we are apologizing.  Once we get past this debate, then we can return to the business of pushing through development projects, with the full support of their elected representatives.  Remember that I used to oppose this whole thing.  But sometimes, we need to do things that are a bit uncomfortable in order to create a perception of social justice, and to satisfy those who keep agitating on a given issue.  And in the process, we appear enlightened.

(The council chambers erupt in spontaneous applause.  Observers begin to murmur among themselves about how Councilman Lobby has grown.)

Councilman Harbour: Our city can't seem to rid itself of this whole psychology of victimization.  We hold on to our victim status, we embrace it, we relish it.  I think we have better things to do, and I can't believe how much time we are idling away with this discussion.

Councilman Lobby: I don't think you get the point.  Ever since Michael died, I have been trying to keep the lines of communication open with their political community in various ways.  Michael was my point man, but now he is gone.  I stuck with them through the police department mess, and did what I could to keep the city manager in power.  They are not going to give us what we want if we don't support them on their issues.

(A hush falls over the council chambers.  Moments later, the crowd rises to give a standing ovation as the motion passes.)

Comments

[Major Major]

And suddenly a local blogger, Locke Symyhe, rushed toward the Council, dropped to his knees, and while sobbing uncontrollably, shouted " Mr. Lobby, my hero, I am so proud of you "

[Beau D. Jackson]

Does anyone in thier wildest dreams think that this matter, over, has been put to bed. At some oppertune time nelson johnson is going to play this race card again, it's so guaranteed you can take it to the bank. Beau

[Jeffrey Sykes]

Joe: It's great to see you grooming your inner Tolstoy. Keep at it.

[Bubba]

Joe can call it "War and No Peace".